Crowned in Confidence



I was asked to do a piece on confidence. The reason behind the post/ idea still remains unknown though I didn’t bother to ask. I didn’t see a point.

I had a hard time putting together a piece on confidence for multiple reasons. I consider myself a very confident person when it comes to most things like my job, my passion, goals, etc. Also, pretty confident in the person that I am becoming only because that is up to me and no one else. Now all of that is great but there are times that I don’t feel so confident. Other see differently but I believe everyone has those moments where they don’t feel at their best.

Before I get too deep, I will say once you gain confidence in yourself it will change everything. It will have you looking at things & life differently. Confidence can make you trust in yourself when you didn’t, your process, goals and dreams. It’s one of the most magical feelings.

Building confidence takes time, I know it did for me. We have it, we lose it, gain some of it back and the cycle continues.

For me, I got to a point where anything negative, I replaced it with something positive. It wasn’t and definitely isn’t an easy thing to do but it works. It keeps the focus on where you’re going or who you’re wanting to become. It helps you steer clear of the distraction(s).

Learn to except yourself, your WHOLE self. No matter what that includes. Could be your flaws, your mistakes, and who you see in the mirror. No matter what it entails, love yourself inside and out. It may not always be easy to do, as we are constantly challenged when in comes to all aspects of the person we are or working towards.  Just believe in yourself!

Image result for confidence

Compliment yourself. Tell yourself that you are beautiful or handsome for my men out there. Keep telling yourself until you believe it. If you don’t believe it, who else will. Build yourself up so that when someone you come in contact with whether in person, online, social media whatever…tries to tear you down you have already risen about all of that so I won’t affect you in the same manner. Now, I’m not saying that it won’t still hurt or bother you because it just may, every one is different. What I’m saying is that you’ve built up your self-esteem to where you are better able to handle it.

Something I do personally because it helps me is whenever I am feeling less than myself I put effort into the way I appear. I push myself to put on something nice, do my make up & hair. Maybe a pair of heels. If not all of that, just a nice outfit will do. Something that I will feel good in. With doing this I look BETTER than I feel. Instead of looking the way I ACTUALLY feel. I have often found that doing this it channels a positive energy. I realize I eventually become happier, a smile comes across my face and I’m not looking so evil as some would say, lol.  It just makes me feel good inside and out. And in case you’re wondering, when I do this, 9 times out of 20 I have NOWHERE TO GO! I just get dressed and find something to do. Whether alone or with others.

Image result for Black Girl Magic Illustration by Vashti Harrison

Black Girl Magic Illustration by Vashti Harrison


Do things you’d never thought you’d do. Do what you’ve always been afraid to do. Take baby steps like going to the movies alone, out to eat or a bar by yourself. I use those examples because most times people feel as though you NEED someone to do those things with. I felt that way at one point until I moved and realized I can’t wait for others to do what I WANT to do. Take a trip alone, c go to a concert by yourself (I did). It could be anything. Just do it.

“The best way to gain self-confidence is to do things you’re afraid to do” -Anonymous Author


Lastly, stop relying on others to make you feel good or make you happy. It is not anyone’s responsibility but yours to make you feel good about yourself or happy. Compliments from others are a GREAT feeling don’t get me wrong BUT self-love is even better. Remember, confidence is something you create within.



What are some of the things you do to keep yourself confident?

Leave comments on post and I will respond.


Until next time loves ❤ KJ

Be sure to follow my Facebook and Instagram!


2 thoughts on “Crowned in Confidence

  1. At times I don’t feel confident actually a lot of times, but I do like you do I try to make myself look better than I feel. Also I find myself feeling confident sometimes then something comes along and crashes that for me so I have to learn to hold on to my confidence and don’t let anyone or anything take it from me.
    With love,
    -Just me

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey Queen,
      No one or nothing should be able to steal your shine, shake your ground or alter your crown unless you let them. So DON’T LET THEM! Self-affirmations are also a great way to build confidence for those day we don’t wanna dress to impress ourselves, lol. Holding on to it isn’t easy all the time as we all have bad days or situation that may make it a little difficult. Even I have trouble with that but it just mean we need a little more work is all. You’ll get to a point where very little will bother you but until then just keep working on you and leave the negative where its at.
      -KJ ❤


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